Episode 11

“Itu menyakitkan.”

Seakan sedang menilai luka dengan ujung jarinya, Igon, dengan mata tertunduk, mengangkat kepalanya untuk menatapku.

Ck.

Igon, dengan lidah berdecak tidak setuju, menarik tangannya dan merapikan gaunku.

Sungguh menakutkan dan memalukan, membayangkan seseorang melihatnya.

Aku mengepalkan tanganku, menggigit bibir bawahku.

Tiba-tiba, ketika aku mengangkat kepalaku, mataku bertemu dengan Liam yang berdiri di arah ini.

Dia perlahan menundukkan kepalanya saat mata kami bertemu.

Mengapa Liam ada di sini…?

Ah, benar juga, bukankah Liam setuju menjadi pendampingku di resepsi?

Dahiku berkerut.

Jadi, apakah Liam yang memanggil Igon ke sini?

Mengapa dia melakukan hal-hal yang tidak perlu tanpa diminta…?

Menatap Liam dengan penuh kebencian, Sebuah tangan besar mencengkeram daguku dan bergerak ke bawah.

Mata biru dan bibir yang tertutup rapat mulai terlihat.

“Saya biarkan saja, hanya diobati saja.”

“…Akan canggung jika orang lain mengetahuinya.”

Igon terkekeh pelan mendengar kata-kataku yang penuh kekhawatiran.

“Eve, pikirkan baik-baik. Pertimbangkan pilihan mana yang lebih menguntungkan untuk bergosip: tetap di sini setelah menerima perawatan atau pulang ke rumah dalam pelukanku.”

Aku menggigit pipi bagian dalamku dengan keras.

Memperluas pilihan hanya akan menutup jalan keluar.

Akhirnya aku mengangguk patuh.

“Aku tidak suka melihatmu kesakitan. Aku tidak suka kamu berkeliaran di sini dengan santai seolah tidak terjadi apa-apa.”

“…Baiklah.”

“Saya akan membersihkan ruang tunggu di lantai empat untuk Anda.”

Igon mengeluarkan sepasang sepatu wanita.

Seorang adipati memegang sepatu wanita, sungguh pemandangan yang tidak biasa.

Aku mengulurkan tangan untuk mengambil kembali sepatu itu darinya dengan ekspresi lembut, tetapi Igon dengan tegas menoleh dengan wajah tegas.

“Jika memakai ini, mungkin akan sulit bagimu untuk naik ke atas, jadi aku akan menyimpannya dengan aman. Aku akan menyediakan sepatu yang nyaman. Tunggu.”

Sambil mengangguk ringan, Igon akhirnya menunjukkan senyum puas.

“Oh, dan satu hal lagi.”

Apa lagi yang ingin dia katakan?

Sambil menatapnya dengan ekspresi khawatir, Igon menunjuk seseorang sambil mengangguk.

“Berkenalan?”

Hah?

Terkejut dengan pertanyaan mendadak itu, saya bahkan tidak bisa melihat siapa yang ditunjuknya.

Aku melirik sebentar ke arah yang ditunjuk Igon, tetapi ada terlalu banyak orang untuk mengetahui dengan tepat siapa yang ia maksud.

Dan secara umum… kecuali Igon, semua orang di sini tidak memiliki hubungan dekat denganku.

“Orang yang mana…”

“Putri Count Durant. Kenal?”

Putri Count Durant, Eunice Durant.

Igon bertanya padaku tentang Eunice Durant.

Dengan kata lain, tentang pemeran utama wanita.

Tentang diriku di masa depan.

Jantungku berdebar kencang.

Aku tak dapat mengendalikan ekspresiku sesaat.

Rasanya bibirku menjadi kaku.

Saya terlambat menyadari bahwa saya seharusnya bersikap acuh tak acuh.

Aku memutar mataku seperti anak kecil yang ketahuan melakukan kesalahan.

Itu bukan apa-apa.

Saya hanya bertanya apakah mereka berteman.

Perlahan-lahan aku menoleh.

Wishing to convey as little emotional fluctuation as possible, I responded succinctly,

“Not really.”

“I saw you talking for quite a while earlier.”

“I just exchanged greetings.”

“What?”

Igon’s interest in my affairs was nothing new. He often delved into the details of conversations and even inquired about the expressions of those I spoke with.

So, there was no need to be overly cautious.

However, unexpectedly, a sharp tone emerged.

“It was nothing. Why do you care?”

Perhaps it was an unexpected reaction, as his eyes slightly widened before returning to his usual impudent expression.

A slow gaze reached me.

In the young sky-blue eyes, a girl with finely scattered hair was visible.

Fingers, now without gloves, approached, brushing against the necklace and gently grazing down the neck, reaching just under the chin and lightly touching the lips.

Only after Igon withdrew his teasing hand did I realize that my mouth was slightly agape.

Lifting one corner of his mouth, Igon laughed.

Even if horns sprouted from his head and black wings emerged behind him, his cruel smile was enough to not be surprised.

“Because I became interested.”

A soft voice smoothly flowed between his twisted lips.

*Thunk!*

And right at that moment, whether it was a musician’s mistake or something falling to the ground, a loud noise interrupted. People gasped in surprise, and a commotion followed.

In the midst of the chaos, I pondered the words I heard.

It sounded like a verdict of death to me.

I wanted to believe that the unsteady steps were due to alcohol.

My head was spinning, making it difficult to think clearly.

I couldn’t remember exactly how I got upstairs and where I went.

I needed to shake it off, but the voice lingered in my ears, and the words stabbed my chest like thorns.

Why hadn’t I thought about it before?

Perhaps Igon knew the female lead even before the original story began and had feelings for her.

The poignant love from the novel came to mind.

Maybe the depth of emotions like that wouldn’t accumulate overnight.

Could they have been observing each other for a long time?

Their connection seemed deeper than I thought, and despite my best efforts, I couldn’t find a flaw in that well-crafted original story.

All of my actions were within the flow of the original story. Perhaps even the current dilemmas were already scheduled in the original work.

“Ah!”

I moaned softly and looked down.

The physician treating my foot looked up in surprise at my cry.

“Apologies, Lady.”

Only now did I snap back to reality from this minor injury.

Compared to the pain I would endure in the future, this was nothing.

“It stung a little… I’m sorry for startling you.”

The physician gestured not to worry and offered a light apology.

His touch became more cautious during the meticulous treatment.

As I continued to think, the physician, done with the treatment, left the lounge.

Liam knocked on the open door a couple of times.

It meant it was time to go downstairs again.

I had to go down again.

But I couldn’t possibly pretend to smile again. What should I do?

I lifted my body as if lying down on the couch, and as I rose, I accidentally touched a small table placed nearby. The table shook.

The empty wine glass on it fell to the floor, shattering.

I had received a glass during the treatment as an excuse for pain, but I hadn’t taken a sip. Now, the spilled grape wine created a red stain on the white marble floor and carpet, resembling blood.

I stared blankly at the red substance crawling on the floor.

“Where are you hurt…”

Liam’s concerned voice approached, and as I lifted my head, he stood nearby, peering at me with worried eyes.

His gaze felt uncomfortable.

I pushed him away as he came closer, wrinkling my forehead.

“Just show me the way.”

I quickly left the room with long strides.

I informed the maid who was in the lounge about my mistake, and I told her to inform the mansion about the carpet, assuring that I would compensate for the damage.

As I walked through the corridor, my feelings became strange.

I greeted the people who approached with polite nods.

My body felt light, as if floating, yet my steps were heavy.

Conflicting emotions confused my mind and heart.

I wanted to cry and laugh.

I wanted to release the pent-up emotions tormenting me.

But how do you do that?

Suddenly, a breeze came, cooling my flushed cheeks.

The wind carried a fresh scent of grass.

Standing in front of the stairs, I turned abruptly to find the source of the wind.

A slightly open terrace door appeared a few steps behind me.

Through it, a cool breeze wafted in.

I impulsively pushed the door open, observing the fluttering curtain edges. I informed Liam to wait and walked into the terrace.

Closing the door behind me, I leaned on the railing, allowing the refreshing air to fill my lungs.

Beyond the gardens of the royal palace, the lights of the capital sparkled. The distant, shimmering lights were so beautiful that they seemed almost suffocating, like stars hovering above the earth.

Staring blankly at the view, I took off my shoes. The new shoes Igon had sent had no heels. I pondered whether these strange shoes adhered to etiquette as I slowly climbed onto the railing.

Strangely, standing here, I felt nothing. Without thoughts, there were no lingering attachments. Unconsciously, I lifted one foot into the black emptiness.

The hem of my skirt fluttered in the void. Perhaps due to the effects of alcohol, I swayed a few times, but strangely, I didn’t feel afraid.

‘If I could die like this, it would be truly blissful.’

Suddenly, such a thought crossed my mind. Yes, if I couldn’t change anything about myself, at least my death should be something I could choose.

The idea briefly flashed in my mind. If my fate was to suffer and die, then, rather than being pitiable and insignificant…

But then, I glanced sideways.

No.

Sayangnya, saya ingin hidup. Lebih dari siapa pun, hidup saya penuh semangat. Bahkan jika kematian tidak dapat dihindari, saya akan memilih untuk hidup, bahkan untuk seminggu, bahkan untuk sehari. Tanah di bawah kaki saya dan kehidupan yang saya genggam dengan tangan saya sendiri sangat berharga.

Tepat saat aku hendak menggerakkan kakiku kembali ke posisi semula, rasa sakit yang tajam di sekitar pinggangku menyerangku.

“Hah?”

Pikiran pertama saya adalah saya merasakan nyeri seakan-akan saya dipukul di dekat punggung bawah.

Saat berikutnya, saya menyadari bahwa saya sedang tergantung di udara.

Di balik ujung rokku yang bergoyang, aku melihat kehampaan yang gelap dan pekat.

“Oh, sial.”

Perlahan-lahan kesadaranku kembali, seolah-olah seseorang telah menuangkan air dingin kepadaku.

Secara naluriah aku menurunkan tanganku ke pinggangku. Hangat sekali. Apa ini?

Aku mengangkat kepalaku, dan di sana terlihat sebuah wajah.

Dia memelukku erat, mencegahku terjatuh.

Siapa dia?

Mengapa dia menangkapku?

Aku menatap wajahnya dengan bingung. Dia tampak bingung dengan ketidakpahamanku.